For those of you who don't know me, I am first labeled as athletic. For those of you who are trying to get any clue from my blog that might leak any information about me and aren't getting why the posts in my blog have close to nothing to do with the sporty and witty name I have given my blog; and are having a hard time trying to "figure me out," well, to you I say, good luck and keep reading.
Read this post if you must.
I keep saying "for those of you who don't know me" when I only have one follower on my blog and she has known me best for the past couple years. I guess I keep writing the phrase above in hopes that even if you don't follow my blog on a consistant or recorded bases, you at least know of me. Everyone wants to be remembered; whether it's positive or not. Your opinion of me does not truely effect me because you don't care about me in the first place; not really.
I have played soccer since I was in second or third grade. I started out on a purple team called the "Purple People Eaters." How original yet fierce enough without cursing. I played goal keeper on this team.
Then I moved up in the world and found my soccer mate, Miriam. She too was a goal keeper and we played on the same team called "The Barbie Dolls." Not the proudest team name I have belonged to, however it had a nice sting when the defeated team announced they had just been beaten by The Barbie Dolls.
Then in middle school they separated the girls from the boys. Besides the societal insecurity of sexual maturity among hormone raging teenagers, which I feel is responsible for any or all sexual irresponsibility in teens, myself and a select few females became excluded from the cliches of girly-girls because of the athletic ability and competativeness that was soley reinforced in the males. Here is where I moved out from the goal and onto the field as a midfielder because I could run a lot, for a long time, and had no problem "tackling" people.
In high school the greatest thing my coach/math teacher had ever told me was play lik a senior. As a freshwoman, I admit that I looked up to the seniors. As a midfielder I learned all aspects of being in the middle. I played outside wing and got good at serving long crosses and corner kicks.
As a next step up I went to play soccer in college. Though Miriam and I had not gone to college together and we didn't play together I wore her number on my back for every game in hopes she'd be with me. Here, college, I learned "my place" and the title of "seniors" that I had hoped to look up to and hopefully play like, I wanted no part of it or them. I wanted to play like Me. I had to and have found out what playing like Me means.
Words like "leader," "champions," "star," "courageous" they all flew by like street lights seen through the windshield of a speeding car. Though they still held value and made me shiver when talking about them, I still felt like a puppet on a string. School pride, team pride, play for family... I have played for these groups, wanting to make them proud in every practice and every game. I owe a lot to these groups and thank them for all that I am.
BUT...
In the most civil way I can say, THIS SEASON IS FOR ME, BITCHES.
I am not wanting spotlight, fame, recognition. I have never wanted but appreciate it. This is my last season playing soccer. This is it for me. The team, coach's lectures, games, injuries (though they're most definitely worth it), blood/sweat/tears... all of it, gone after this year.
So, opponents, teammates, fans I say this to you; I plan on giving it my all and leaving my all out there. Game on.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Balance with three things
When things in my life get overwhelming or stressful, I tend to lean on one, two or all three things that give me balance in my life.
One: exercise. I may be somewhat of a work-a-holic because I would rather be in the best shape of my life for a long time than go without working out and letting myself go. I can never see myself getting out of shape (dramatically, that is. I mean I want kids someday and things are going to have to be accomidated then, but i have time). I like either taking my headphones, cleats and a ball and just practicing moves, forcusing on "not dropping the ball" (yes, very symbolic), and practicing juking the fake player in front of me. It's all about the music and the ball at that point. I don't have to worry about messing up because I hold myself to my own standards and don't worry about being a goof because, trust me, I am a goof anyways.
Two: Hugs. Though I hardly like letting my guard down there are those times I need a hug from people. A friend, family member and a boyfriend. It's a grounding feeling, not in a bad way but to silently say, "It's going to be OK." I constantly feel like I'm the one saying that to other people so when it gets said to me I feel a lot better.
Three: Think Simple. If worse comes to worse, I value the things that some people have to constatnly worry about. For example I might say at least the sun is out, or at least I have my health and the family that I have I know loves me. Now if it's a gloomy day, I have a cold, and no one at home is answering my phone calls, then yes that sucks and you can beat I'm leaning more heavily on options one and two.
Everyone needs balance in their life. Even if the balance they get is to be imbalanced and just go with the flo. That's a structure. Things always work out in the end... just may not be the way you anticipate it working out.
One: exercise. I may be somewhat of a work-a-holic because I would rather be in the best shape of my life for a long time than go without working out and letting myself go. I can never see myself getting out of shape (dramatically, that is. I mean I want kids someday and things are going to have to be accomidated then, but i have time). I like either taking my headphones, cleats and a ball and just practicing moves, forcusing on "not dropping the ball" (yes, very symbolic), and practicing juking the fake player in front of me. It's all about the music and the ball at that point. I don't have to worry about messing up because I hold myself to my own standards and don't worry about being a goof because, trust me, I am a goof anyways.
Two: Hugs. Though I hardly like letting my guard down there are those times I need a hug from people. A friend, family member and a boyfriend. It's a grounding feeling, not in a bad way but to silently say, "It's going to be OK." I constantly feel like I'm the one saying that to other people so when it gets said to me I feel a lot better.
Three: Think Simple. If worse comes to worse, I value the things that some people have to constatnly worry about. For example I might say at least the sun is out, or at least I have my health and the family that I have I know loves me. Now if it's a gloomy day, I have a cold, and no one at home is answering my phone calls, then yes that sucks and you can beat I'm leaning more heavily on options one and two.
Everyone needs balance in their life. Even if the balance they get is to be imbalanced and just go with the flo. That's a structure. Things always work out in the end... just may not be the way you anticipate it working out.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Routine enjoyment
Wake up in the mornin' feelin' like P-Diddy...
Well, almost; that is, IF I knew what P-Diddy felt like in the morning.
I'm a morning person in a moderate form. You see there's levels of morning people:
Extreme: Arrives already have consumed three cups of coffee, energy drink in hand, big smile, louder than normal voice, too talkative and extremely nosey!
Moderate: Jazzed, have theirselves together, cheery, almost singing.
Mild: Awake and there... where ever that may be.
I am not a night owl, i knock out around 11 p.m. I like my morning routines.
My favorite way to wake up in the morning revolves around music. It almost doesn't matter what's playing. I mean I'm not getting pumped for a game in the morning but I'm not cuddling up to a lullaby either. So most often times it's something like R&B or soul that kind of thing in the morning.
Well, almost; that is, IF I knew what P-Diddy felt like in the morning.
I'm a morning person in a moderate form. You see there's levels of morning people:
Extreme: Arrives already have consumed three cups of coffee, energy drink in hand, big smile, louder than normal voice, too talkative and extremely nosey!
Moderate: Jazzed, have theirselves together, cheery, almost singing.
Mild: Awake and there... where ever that may be.
I am not a night owl, i knock out around 11 p.m. I like my morning routines.
My favorite way to wake up in the morning revolves around music. It almost doesn't matter what's playing. I mean I'm not getting pumped for a game in the morning but I'm not cuddling up to a lullaby either. So most often times it's something like R&B or soul that kind of thing in the morning.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Play like a boy
This term was the first time I have ever taken a gender class. In fact, I had taken two gender classes in the same term.
For some of you, you might think that gender classes are a waste of time; however, I assure you, they are not.
The topic I was most annoyed with this term is that female athletes are doing nothing but copying the men, because in a patriarchy all that is male is valued more.
I play college soccer and have played soccer since I was a little girl. I would come in muddy from recess just like the boys. Yes, I wanted to be a boy growing up only to avoid the tea party dresses that I was forced to wear to family functions or church.
When asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and I answered most often Mia Hamm, I didn't first say become a boy and be just like Rooney or Beckham. I wanted to be just like the female soccer player I had seen succeed.
I am not trying to copy a boy or man.
As I train myself for spring ball or during the summer I train for the upcoming season, I don't hope that I will be as good as the boys. Hell, I don't even train with a boy. I train by myself.
Why would I want to be just as good as a boy, when I can excel fenominally as a female athlete? You think female athletes aren't as good as male athletes?
In some aspects, yes! Women, on average, are 20 percent less strong as a man.
But not all sports take strength. There's tactics and grace. I'm not just talking about cheerleading, dancing, skating, gymnastics or any other sports you may think as graceful.
Please don't confuse the word "graceful" with "feminine" because as you will see there are many aspects of even the toughest male sports (rugby, football, hockey, etc.) that require or involve a certain level of grace.
One day a woman won't have to feel the pressure of putting on make up to get sweaty for a game, or put ribbon in her hair for it to bounce around before she spikes the ball.
One day, the phrase, "You play like a girl" will be a compliment rather than a bashing remark.
For some of you, you might think that gender classes are a waste of time; however, I assure you, they are not.
The topic I was most annoyed with this term is that female athletes are doing nothing but copying the men, because in a patriarchy all that is male is valued more.
I play college soccer and have played soccer since I was a little girl. I would come in muddy from recess just like the boys. Yes, I wanted to be a boy growing up only to avoid the tea party dresses that I was forced to wear to family functions or church.
When asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and I answered most often Mia Hamm, I didn't first say become a boy and be just like Rooney or Beckham. I wanted to be just like the female soccer player I had seen succeed.
I am not trying to copy a boy or man.
As I train myself for spring ball or during the summer I train for the upcoming season, I don't hope that I will be as good as the boys. Hell, I don't even train with a boy. I train by myself.
Why would I want to be just as good as a boy, when I can excel fenominally as a female athlete? You think female athletes aren't as good as male athletes?
In some aspects, yes! Women, on average, are 20 percent less strong as a man.
But not all sports take strength. There's tactics and grace. I'm not just talking about cheerleading, dancing, skating, gymnastics or any other sports you may think as graceful.
Please don't confuse the word "graceful" with "feminine" because as you will see there are many aspects of even the toughest male sports (rugby, football, hockey, etc.) that require or involve a certain level of grace.
One day a woman won't have to feel the pressure of putting on make up to get sweaty for a game, or put ribbon in her hair for it to bounce around before she spikes the ball.
One day, the phrase, "You play like a girl" will be a compliment rather than a bashing remark.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Long time no see
I realize that it has been a while since i've posted anything. So much has gone on and I can't wait to tell you! Hence the reason why I haven't posted; i've been busy.
Academically I am no longer a trapped, pesimistic, evil-in-training, journalism student. I have changed my concentration to communications. Now it's about rainbows and butterflies and genuinely being nice to people. Much more my pace though my masculine appearance would disagree.
Soccer is still going strong and we're making our transition from repetative winter training to repetative spring training. More info. to come as no events will change or occur.
Love life is good. Enough said.
My main issue I want to express is my recent learning of gender studies and the inequalities not only supressing women but holding standards even too high or dangerous for men. OK well this is not a life-and-death example but here in po-dunk La Grande, OR, the situation is worth talking about.
I have never taken a gender course until now. I know, 21 and I'm just learning something. One of my goals we reflected on now that we're toward the end of our term, is to have more gender respectful or gender neutral language.
Now my job as a News and Features editor for our campus paper comes in handy with this goal... or so i thought.
Editing nights are never fun because we're there from 6 p.m. to midnight or later. However this is a forced opportunity for me to get homework and things done. While editing our stories, I remembered my gender goal and without further thinking I changed "freshman" to "freshwoman." This made since because I was quoting a first-year female student.
Key Fact: I am the only female editor of seven editors. Grant it only six of us were there that night.
My editor (male, also not a student but EOU alumni) said that I was wrong by changing the title, but didn't have a better reason as to why it should not be changed other than it's not the way things are according to APA editing style.
So our argument went something like this:
Chief editor: "Freshman" is a title of class. You wouldn't change sophomore, junior or senior.
me: no because they don't have gender discriminitory language in them. Let's run it this issue and see if either people notice or if our advisor says anything.
Chief: No i'm not going to do that. It doesn't need to be changed and that's final.
me: we change "police man" to "police officer" and "mail man" to "post carrier" why not change "freshman" to "freshwoman"?
chief: because it sounds funny and no one else uses it. You don't see people in sports broadcasting change to gender neutral terms?
me: that's because there's mostly men who work there
chief: the women who work their have that opportunity too
me: like i'm trying to change things now
Layout editor: but sports places are dominated by men (proving my point)
Arts and entertainment editor: oh like changing "mankind" to "humankind" (again, proving my point)
chief: no i'm not going to change it. You can have your gender professor write a letter to the editor and you can write something but It's not going to get changed.
Not only was he so adiment about not changing something so small but he did not have a good reason for not changing it. I would have settled for a compramise of "let's run 'freshman' this issue, you can do more research and we'll discuss changes for next issue." that sounds pretty fair to me. But the "no we're not going to change it because i said so and that's the way things are" is not good enough for me.
Now the next day I brought this issue up in my gender class and most had agreed that there was discrimmination and that something should be changed whether it be changing to "freshwoman" or "first-year students" for the non-traditional students sake.
More examples of changing language to become more politically correct:
Mentally retarded is out, replaced with mentally handicapped, which is even getting flak for not being PC enough.
Low-income, not poor.
Servers, not waiters and waitresses.
Undocumented workers instead of illegal immigrants.
Points to be made:
Freshman is a term used when at the time education was reserved for men. EOU has a 60:40 ratio of women to men.
When interviewing someone you learn to spell their name correctly, their perspective of the story, and how they influenced the story so when gathering that information you're most likely to catch their class and beable to decide on referring to them as "freshman", "freshwoman", or "first-year" student. Or get rid of "freshwo/man" altogether and simply use "first-year student."
Food for thought, pressure for diamonds and all that. Thanks for reading.
Academically I am no longer a trapped, pesimistic, evil-in-training, journalism student. I have changed my concentration to communications. Now it's about rainbows and butterflies and genuinely being nice to people. Much more my pace though my masculine appearance would disagree.
Soccer is still going strong and we're making our transition from repetative winter training to repetative spring training. More info. to come as no events will change or occur.
Love life is good. Enough said.
My main issue I want to express is my recent learning of gender studies and the inequalities not only supressing women but holding standards even too high or dangerous for men. OK well this is not a life-and-death example but here in po-dunk La Grande, OR, the situation is worth talking about.
I have never taken a gender course until now. I know, 21 and I'm just learning something. One of my goals we reflected on now that we're toward the end of our term, is to have more gender respectful or gender neutral language.
Now my job as a News and Features editor for our campus paper comes in handy with this goal... or so i thought.
Editing nights are never fun because we're there from 6 p.m. to midnight or later. However this is a forced opportunity for me to get homework and things done. While editing our stories, I remembered my gender goal and without further thinking I changed "freshman" to "freshwoman." This made since because I was quoting a first-year female student.
Key Fact: I am the only female editor of seven editors. Grant it only six of us were there that night.
My editor (male, also not a student but EOU alumni) said that I was wrong by changing the title, but didn't have a better reason as to why it should not be changed other than it's not the way things are according to APA editing style.
So our argument went something like this:
Chief editor: "Freshman" is a title of class. You wouldn't change sophomore, junior or senior.
me: no because they don't have gender discriminitory language in them. Let's run it this issue and see if either people notice or if our advisor says anything.
Chief: No i'm not going to do that. It doesn't need to be changed and that's final.
me: we change "police man" to "police officer" and "mail man" to "post carrier" why not change "freshman" to "freshwoman"?
chief: because it sounds funny and no one else uses it. You don't see people in sports broadcasting change to gender neutral terms?
me: that's because there's mostly men who work there
chief: the women who work their have that opportunity too
me: like i'm trying to change things now
Layout editor: but sports places are dominated by men (proving my point)
Arts and entertainment editor: oh like changing "mankind" to "humankind" (again, proving my point)
chief: no i'm not going to change it. You can have your gender professor write a letter to the editor and you can write something but It's not going to get changed.
Not only was he so adiment about not changing something so small but he did not have a good reason for not changing it. I would have settled for a compramise of "let's run 'freshman' this issue, you can do more research and we'll discuss changes for next issue." that sounds pretty fair to me. But the "no we're not going to change it because i said so and that's the way things are" is not good enough for me.
Now the next day I brought this issue up in my gender class and most had agreed that there was discrimmination and that something should be changed whether it be changing to "freshwoman" or "first-year students" for the non-traditional students sake.
More examples of changing language to become more politically correct:
Mentally retarded is out, replaced with mentally handicapped, which is even getting flak for not being PC enough.
Low-income, not poor.
Servers, not waiters and waitresses.
Undocumented workers instead of illegal immigrants.
Points to be made:
Freshman is a term used when at the time education was reserved for men. EOU has a 60:40 ratio of women to men.
When interviewing someone you learn to spell their name correctly, their perspective of the story, and how they influenced the story so when gathering that information you're most likely to catch their class and beable to decide on referring to them as "freshman", "freshwoman", or "first-year" student. Or get rid of "freshwo/man" altogether and simply use "first-year student."
Food for thought, pressure for diamonds and all that. Thanks for reading.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
sense, does this make?
Do you ever think about the words that people say and think, "that made absolutely no sense at all." Words are meant for communicating but what good are they if they are not strung together properly in order for people to comprehend them?
Start by paying attention to the things your closest friends say. These phrases will look like:
"I didn't see nothing" Oh yeah?
"That's so gay." As opposed to...?
"I keep eating but i'm never full." Maybe you should stop throwing it up after every meal.
""Oh my gosh, that salad really filled me up."
"You're a sexy beast!" I'm sure that was Belle's first thought too!
"He said this to stacy who said something to jane. Then mark got upset......................."
That's just the beginning. Then try listening to someone who is in an authority position (like a coach or a professor) and figure out what they're trying to say.
"There are certain things along the lines of the status quo that you're just going to have to follow. But remember, be an individual, be unique and don't just go with the flow."
"Don't worry about what people think of you; however, be aware of your reputation."
"There are no mistakes in soccer, you can't afford to make a mistake."
Not only is life confusing enough, but our basis for communication can't even come in clear. I'm not saying i'm good at communicating (i'm terrible actually), but phrases like these are ridiculous and each person who says these should be struck down by a bolt of lightening.
Start by paying attention to the things your closest friends say. These phrases will look like:
"I didn't see nothing" Oh yeah?
"That's so gay." As opposed to...?
"I keep eating but i'm never full." Maybe you should stop throwing it up after every meal.
""Oh my gosh, that salad really filled me up."
"You're a sexy beast!" I'm sure that was Belle's first thought too!
"He said this to stacy who said something to jane. Then mark got upset......................."
That's just the beginning. Then try listening to someone who is in an authority position (like a coach or a professor) and figure out what they're trying to say.
"There are certain things along the lines of the status quo that you're just going to have to follow. But remember, be an individual, be unique and don't just go with the flow."
"Don't worry about what people think of you; however, be aware of your reputation."
"There are no mistakes in soccer, you can't afford to make a mistake."
Not only is life confusing enough, but our basis for communication can't even come in clear. I'm not saying i'm good at communicating (i'm terrible actually), but phrases like these are ridiculous and each person who says these should be struck down by a bolt of lightening.
Monday, May 17, 2010
I miss those days
I'm almost finished with my second year at college. I've pretty much learned how to be independent and live on my own. However, I have not learned how to get rid of the feeling of missing home. Maybe not everything about being home, but definitely the warmth of home.
I am the oldest child of three. I am used to taking care of other people before myself. This was/is a big concept for me to get used to at college because the only person i have to care for is myself. This is scary because I've never really considered what I want. I feel as though I have been dropped in the middle of the ocean, all alone, drifting about and finding my own way to shore, and whatever shore i land on i have to be satisfied with. I miss being able to care for someone else because it takes my mind off of my troubles, it eases my mind. So basically i'm acting selfishly unselfish.
I am a country gal. My sister, mom, and I have had horses since I was in the third grade. I joined 4H in fourth grade. We moved out to the country to have our own place and property my freshman year in high school. Since then I would stay out in the barn late into the night. Some nights my mom or dad would have to come out and check on me to make sure I was ok or basically to drag my butt inside. I miss coming in to shower and finding each boot filled with either dirt or hay. Or taking off my jeans and finding hay inside the waist of my jeans (i never knew how it got in there). I even miss the dirty hand and finger nails. The kind where you rub your hands together and flakes of dirt rub off. Or you look in the mirror and your eye lashes are highlighted light brown from the dust from the arena. Your boogers are brown and teeth are sparkling white.
I miss walking slowly into the house from the barn and seeing more stars in the sky than there are people on earth. I miss the melody of the frogs in the pool in the back yard. I miss the dear that would play hide n' seek in the pasture or the occasional night owl.
I miss waking up early (5:45 or 6) to to orange and blue sun rise, the brisk morning air, the dew on the ground, turning the light on in the barn and hearing at least four horses nickering a sweet 'good morning'. I miss watching the cats pounce around, tangling themselves under your feet as you try and balance an armful of hay for the next horse.
I miss coming inside and finding mom asleep on the couch with her cat/dog (shitzu named Dawson) also asleep at her feet. Dad is in his room either watching a car show on tv or looking around on Craig's list for useless things. Kyle is more than likely playing video games and kara either in her room with the radio on or moving around the house. Dinner would still be on the counter, cold of course because I've been in the barn, and I would accidently wake mom from grabbing the remote from her hand. She would ask me about the barn and the horses, half asleep, and then fall back asleep.
I am the oldest child of three. I am used to taking care of other people before myself. This was/is a big concept for me to get used to at college because the only person i have to care for is myself. This is scary because I've never really considered what I want. I feel as though I have been dropped in the middle of the ocean, all alone, drifting about and finding my own way to shore, and whatever shore i land on i have to be satisfied with. I miss being able to care for someone else because it takes my mind off of my troubles, it eases my mind. So basically i'm acting selfishly unselfish.
I am a country gal. My sister, mom, and I have had horses since I was in the third grade. I joined 4H in fourth grade. We moved out to the country to have our own place and property my freshman year in high school. Since then I would stay out in the barn late into the night. Some nights my mom or dad would have to come out and check on me to make sure I was ok or basically to drag my butt inside. I miss coming in to shower and finding each boot filled with either dirt or hay. Or taking off my jeans and finding hay inside the waist of my jeans (i never knew how it got in there). I even miss the dirty hand and finger nails. The kind where you rub your hands together and flakes of dirt rub off. Or you look in the mirror and your eye lashes are highlighted light brown from the dust from the arena. Your boogers are brown and teeth are sparkling white.
I miss walking slowly into the house from the barn and seeing more stars in the sky than there are people on earth. I miss the melody of the frogs in the pool in the back yard. I miss the dear that would play hide n' seek in the pasture or the occasional night owl.
I miss waking up early (5:45 or 6) to to orange and blue sun rise, the brisk morning air, the dew on the ground, turning the light on in the barn and hearing at least four horses nickering a sweet 'good morning'. I miss watching the cats pounce around, tangling themselves under your feet as you try and balance an armful of hay for the next horse.
I miss coming inside and finding mom asleep on the couch with her cat/dog (shitzu named Dawson) also asleep at her feet. Dad is in his room either watching a car show on tv or looking around on Craig's list for useless things. Kyle is more than likely playing video games and kara either in her room with the radio on or moving around the house. Dinner would still be on the counter, cold of course because I've been in the barn, and I would accidently wake mom from grabbing the remote from her hand. She would ask me about the barn and the horses, half asleep, and then fall back asleep.
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