Recently I had a heated discussion with my boyfriend about raising kids. Neither are either of us preparing or ready to have kids now or in the short distant future, however the toddlers and their babysitter sitting next to us with the combination of talking about one of his potential masculinity courses, born this discussion.
Background (as I see this might be a valid place to start).
He (Honey, for "name" purposes) is a military man. Now some of you liberalists or gender equity folks might be doing th long nod, one eyebrow raise, "Ooooohh" comment right now. Don't be so quick to judge. Wants a future son named after him, Jr. And the spark of our conversation was that little boys when being raised need an outlet for their "instinctual destruction needs." Note: Honey does have a couple homosexual friends and doesn't have an issue with them.
Me, having taken a couple gender classes, understand the blaming, judgement, channeling, acceptance/disapproval, discipline of societal views. I'm not claiming or showing expertice on the matter however, some is better than none.My arguement was it is not instinctual for boy to be destructive but society approves and encourages such behavior from little boys.
Next path. (I almost get this "Chapter 2" feeling by saying that)
From here on Honey began to say that "his boys" were not going to play with dolls and if they do it better be a G.I. Joe and pretending to blow up barbie. I told him it's fine and sometimes normal for small boys to want to play with dolls. It's called a "phase." (Term most recognized by homosexual men when trying to figure out why their little boys are playing with dolls).
That didn't sit so well... From there on we talked about how Honey's "girls" would not participate in wrestling; not because they wouldn't be good enough but because men shouldn't touch women in certain areas and it confuses the male wrestlers who have been taught not to hit girls.
I understood his side as I, myself growing up was not allowed to wrestle for the same reason though feel no guilt toward my parents because I don't really know what I was missing. However, I told him society has taught men that it is not acceptable to hit women. I didn't say "game on" to striking women; however I believe any violence (man v. man; woman v. woman; man v. woman) should not be allowed. These male wrestlers are not hitting the women. It's the angel in which you coach the child. Now I can see in a more professional stand point having a men's and women's division because, yes, men are stonger than women and for safety reasons, separating the two. But we're talking about grade school, middle school, and high school grades.
Sporting I see two athletes. If a woman goes into wrestling knowing she's going to be touched all over just like the men touch each other all over, then she's cometitive to me. If we add sex into sports and are shy that a woman wrestler is gonna get fondled then, again, we are judging her on her appearance just like society does anyways.
This discussion wasn't finished, nor did it have a true ending point, I still think people should be allowed to be people. Whatever you claim yourself to be. If I had a kid that turned out to be the opposite "normal" orientation, first of all, hope they'd be healthy, fully functioning, social, and at the least somewhat intelligent, thank God for that. Yes my religion tells me otherwise. But thank God for religion and God having to make those types of judgements. Not us.
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