Recently I had a heated discussion with my boyfriend about raising kids. Neither are either of us preparing or ready to have kids now or in the short distant future, however the toddlers and their babysitter sitting next to us with the combination of talking about one of his potential masculinity courses, born this discussion.
Background (as I see this might be a valid place to start).
He (Honey, for "name" purposes) is a military man. Now some of you liberalists or gender equity folks might be doing th long nod, one eyebrow raise, "Ooooohh" comment right now. Don't be so quick to judge. Wants a future son named after him, Jr. And the spark of our conversation was that little boys when being raised need an outlet for their "instinctual destruction needs." Note: Honey does have a couple homosexual friends and doesn't have an issue with them.
Me, having taken a couple gender classes, understand the blaming, judgement, channeling, acceptance/disapproval, discipline of societal views. I'm not claiming or showing expertice on the matter however, some is better than none.My arguement was it is not instinctual for boy to be destructive but society approves and encourages such behavior from little boys.
Next path. (I almost get this "Chapter 2" feeling by saying that)
From here on Honey began to say that "his boys" were not going to play with dolls and if they do it better be a G.I. Joe and pretending to blow up barbie. I told him it's fine and sometimes normal for small boys to want to play with dolls. It's called a "phase." (Term most recognized by homosexual men when trying to figure out why their little boys are playing with dolls).
That didn't sit so well... From there on we talked about how Honey's "girls" would not participate in wrestling; not because they wouldn't be good enough but because men shouldn't touch women in certain areas and it confuses the male wrestlers who have been taught not to hit girls.
I understood his side as I, myself growing up was not allowed to wrestle for the same reason though feel no guilt toward my parents because I don't really know what I was missing. However, I told him society has taught men that it is not acceptable to hit women. I didn't say "game on" to striking women; however I believe any violence (man v. man; woman v. woman; man v. woman) should not be allowed. These male wrestlers are not hitting the women. It's the angel in which you coach the child. Now I can see in a more professional stand point having a men's and women's division because, yes, men are stonger than women and for safety reasons, separating the two. But we're talking about grade school, middle school, and high school grades.
Sporting I see two athletes. If a woman goes into wrestling knowing she's going to be touched all over just like the men touch each other all over, then she's cometitive to me. If we add sex into sports and are shy that a woman wrestler is gonna get fondled then, again, we are judging her on her appearance just like society does anyways.
This discussion wasn't finished, nor did it have a true ending point, I still think people should be allowed to be people. Whatever you claim yourself to be. If I had a kid that turned out to be the opposite "normal" orientation, first of all, hope they'd be healthy, fully functioning, social, and at the least somewhat intelligent, thank God for that. Yes my religion tells me otherwise. But thank God for religion and God having to make those types of judgements. Not us.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Kids soccer camp gone wild... well kind of.
EOU Women's soccer team is hosting a camp this week. There are a couple different age groups; grades 3-6 and the middle and high school are kind of clumped together. We host at least two to three camps per year, which helps support our team and funding for equipment.
Yesterday I helped with the younger group. I gave one of the kids a high-five. He looks at me, between his over-sized glasses and says, "My uncle taught me to high-five because he's been to prison." I busted up laughing. How could you not?
All little kids are flexible rubber bands. Remember when you could touch your toes? These kids folded in half and beyond! I thought they were going to snap in half or get too tangled up.
From then we learned eachother's names and favorite colors because the grades were all irrelivant at this point. Did you know that 'rainbow' is a lagit color?
There's always one kid in the group that doesn't want to be there or acts too cool for school. This little gal was bossy too. Those two character traits kind of go together. During our scrimmage I tried to motivate and direct her to guard a player to her left. Without a beat she looked at me, raised her eyebrows, crossed her arms, and said, "You go guard her!"
Kids these days.
The numbers were uneven for the scrimmage so I jumped in on the low numbered team. I told my team to show their meanest game face. One boy stood straight up as if he were a robot reprogramming. He put his hand on his hip and cocked his hip out to strike a valley girl pose. Again, I busted up laughing at the unexpected act of goofiness.
Though these camps are put on for the kids and our goal is to spread the joy and knowledge of soccer, it is the kids who make the camps worth while. Thanks for your support.
Yesterday I helped with the younger group. I gave one of the kids a high-five. He looks at me, between his over-sized glasses and says, "My uncle taught me to high-five because he's been to prison." I busted up laughing. How could you not?
All little kids are flexible rubber bands. Remember when you could touch your toes? These kids folded in half and beyond! I thought they were going to snap in half or get too tangled up.
From then we learned eachother's names and favorite colors because the grades were all irrelivant at this point. Did you know that 'rainbow' is a lagit color?
There's always one kid in the group that doesn't want to be there or acts too cool for school. This little gal was bossy too. Those two character traits kind of go together. During our scrimmage I tried to motivate and direct her to guard a player to her left. Without a beat she looked at me, raised her eyebrows, crossed her arms, and said, "You go guard her!"
Kids these days.
The numbers were uneven for the scrimmage so I jumped in on the low numbered team. I told my team to show their meanest game face. One boy stood straight up as if he were a robot reprogramming. He put his hand on his hip and cocked his hip out to strike a valley girl pose. Again, I busted up laughing at the unexpected act of goofiness.
Though these camps are put on for the kids and our goal is to spread the joy and knowledge of soccer, it is the kids who make the camps worth while. Thanks for your support.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Soccer spirit
For those of you who don't know me, I am first labeled as athletic. For those of you who are trying to get any clue from my blog that might leak any information about me and aren't getting why the posts in my blog have close to nothing to do with the sporty and witty name I have given my blog; and are having a hard time trying to "figure me out," well, to you I say, good luck and keep reading.
Read this post if you must.
I keep saying "for those of you who don't know me" when I only have one follower on my blog and she has known me best for the past couple years. I guess I keep writing the phrase above in hopes that even if you don't follow my blog on a consistant or recorded bases, you at least know of me. Everyone wants to be remembered; whether it's positive or not. Your opinion of me does not truely effect me because you don't care about me in the first place; not really.
I have played soccer since I was in second or third grade. I started out on a purple team called the "Purple People Eaters." How original yet fierce enough without cursing. I played goal keeper on this team.
Then I moved up in the world and found my soccer mate, Miriam. She too was a goal keeper and we played on the same team called "The Barbie Dolls." Not the proudest team name I have belonged to, however it had a nice sting when the defeated team announced they had just been beaten by The Barbie Dolls.
Then in middle school they separated the girls from the boys. Besides the societal insecurity of sexual maturity among hormone raging teenagers, which I feel is responsible for any or all sexual irresponsibility in teens, myself and a select few females became excluded from the cliches of girly-girls because of the athletic ability and competativeness that was soley reinforced in the males. Here is where I moved out from the goal and onto the field as a midfielder because I could run a lot, for a long time, and had no problem "tackling" people.
In high school the greatest thing my coach/math teacher had ever told me was play lik a senior. As a freshwoman, I admit that I looked up to the seniors. As a midfielder I learned all aspects of being in the middle. I played outside wing and got good at serving long crosses and corner kicks.
As a next step up I went to play soccer in college. Though Miriam and I had not gone to college together and we didn't play together I wore her number on my back for every game in hopes she'd be with me. Here, college, I learned "my place" and the title of "seniors" that I had hoped to look up to and hopefully play like, I wanted no part of it or them. I wanted to play like Me. I had to and have found out what playing like Me means.
Words like "leader," "champions," "star," "courageous" they all flew by like street lights seen through the windshield of a speeding car. Though they still held value and made me shiver when talking about them, I still felt like a puppet on a string. School pride, team pride, play for family... I have played for these groups, wanting to make them proud in every practice and every game. I owe a lot to these groups and thank them for all that I am.
BUT...
In the most civil way I can say, THIS SEASON IS FOR ME, BITCHES.
I am not wanting spotlight, fame, recognition. I have never wanted but appreciate it. This is my last season playing soccer. This is it for me. The team, coach's lectures, games, injuries (though they're most definitely worth it), blood/sweat/tears... all of it, gone after this year.
So, opponents, teammates, fans I say this to you; I plan on giving it my all and leaving my all out there. Game on.
Read this post if you must.
I keep saying "for those of you who don't know me" when I only have one follower on my blog and she has known me best for the past couple years. I guess I keep writing the phrase above in hopes that even if you don't follow my blog on a consistant or recorded bases, you at least know of me. Everyone wants to be remembered; whether it's positive or not. Your opinion of me does not truely effect me because you don't care about me in the first place; not really.
I have played soccer since I was in second or third grade. I started out on a purple team called the "Purple People Eaters." How original yet fierce enough without cursing. I played goal keeper on this team.
Then I moved up in the world and found my soccer mate, Miriam. She too was a goal keeper and we played on the same team called "The Barbie Dolls." Not the proudest team name I have belonged to, however it had a nice sting when the defeated team announced they had just been beaten by The Barbie Dolls.
Then in middle school they separated the girls from the boys. Besides the societal insecurity of sexual maturity among hormone raging teenagers, which I feel is responsible for any or all sexual irresponsibility in teens, myself and a select few females became excluded from the cliches of girly-girls because of the athletic ability and competativeness that was soley reinforced in the males. Here is where I moved out from the goal and onto the field as a midfielder because I could run a lot, for a long time, and had no problem "tackling" people.
In high school the greatest thing my coach/math teacher had ever told me was play lik a senior. As a freshwoman, I admit that I looked up to the seniors. As a midfielder I learned all aspects of being in the middle. I played outside wing and got good at serving long crosses and corner kicks.
As a next step up I went to play soccer in college. Though Miriam and I had not gone to college together and we didn't play together I wore her number on my back for every game in hopes she'd be with me. Here, college, I learned "my place" and the title of "seniors" that I had hoped to look up to and hopefully play like, I wanted no part of it or them. I wanted to play like Me. I had to and have found out what playing like Me means.
Words like "leader," "champions," "star," "courageous" they all flew by like street lights seen through the windshield of a speeding car. Though they still held value and made me shiver when talking about them, I still felt like a puppet on a string. School pride, team pride, play for family... I have played for these groups, wanting to make them proud in every practice and every game. I owe a lot to these groups and thank them for all that I am.
BUT...
In the most civil way I can say, THIS SEASON IS FOR ME, BITCHES.
I am not wanting spotlight, fame, recognition. I have never wanted but appreciate it. This is my last season playing soccer. This is it for me. The team, coach's lectures, games, injuries (though they're most definitely worth it), blood/sweat/tears... all of it, gone after this year.
So, opponents, teammates, fans I say this to you; I plan on giving it my all and leaving my all out there. Game on.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Balance with three things
When things in my life get overwhelming or stressful, I tend to lean on one, two or all three things that give me balance in my life.
One: exercise. I may be somewhat of a work-a-holic because I would rather be in the best shape of my life for a long time than go without working out and letting myself go. I can never see myself getting out of shape (dramatically, that is. I mean I want kids someday and things are going to have to be accomidated then, but i have time). I like either taking my headphones, cleats and a ball and just practicing moves, forcusing on "not dropping the ball" (yes, very symbolic), and practicing juking the fake player in front of me. It's all about the music and the ball at that point. I don't have to worry about messing up because I hold myself to my own standards and don't worry about being a goof because, trust me, I am a goof anyways.
Two: Hugs. Though I hardly like letting my guard down there are those times I need a hug from people. A friend, family member and a boyfriend. It's a grounding feeling, not in a bad way but to silently say, "It's going to be OK." I constantly feel like I'm the one saying that to other people so when it gets said to me I feel a lot better.
Three: Think Simple. If worse comes to worse, I value the things that some people have to constatnly worry about. For example I might say at least the sun is out, or at least I have my health and the family that I have I know loves me. Now if it's a gloomy day, I have a cold, and no one at home is answering my phone calls, then yes that sucks and you can beat I'm leaning more heavily on options one and two.
Everyone needs balance in their life. Even if the balance they get is to be imbalanced and just go with the flo. That's a structure. Things always work out in the end... just may not be the way you anticipate it working out.
One: exercise. I may be somewhat of a work-a-holic because I would rather be in the best shape of my life for a long time than go without working out and letting myself go. I can never see myself getting out of shape (dramatically, that is. I mean I want kids someday and things are going to have to be accomidated then, but i have time). I like either taking my headphones, cleats and a ball and just practicing moves, forcusing on "not dropping the ball" (yes, very symbolic), and practicing juking the fake player in front of me. It's all about the music and the ball at that point. I don't have to worry about messing up because I hold myself to my own standards and don't worry about being a goof because, trust me, I am a goof anyways.
Two: Hugs. Though I hardly like letting my guard down there are those times I need a hug from people. A friend, family member and a boyfriend. It's a grounding feeling, not in a bad way but to silently say, "It's going to be OK." I constantly feel like I'm the one saying that to other people so when it gets said to me I feel a lot better.
Three: Think Simple. If worse comes to worse, I value the things that some people have to constatnly worry about. For example I might say at least the sun is out, or at least I have my health and the family that I have I know loves me. Now if it's a gloomy day, I have a cold, and no one at home is answering my phone calls, then yes that sucks and you can beat I'm leaning more heavily on options one and two.
Everyone needs balance in their life. Even if the balance they get is to be imbalanced and just go with the flo. That's a structure. Things always work out in the end... just may not be the way you anticipate it working out.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Routine enjoyment
Wake up in the mornin' feelin' like P-Diddy...
Well, almost; that is, IF I knew what P-Diddy felt like in the morning.
I'm a morning person in a moderate form. You see there's levels of morning people:
Extreme: Arrives already have consumed three cups of coffee, energy drink in hand, big smile, louder than normal voice, too talkative and extremely nosey!
Moderate: Jazzed, have theirselves together, cheery, almost singing.
Mild: Awake and there... where ever that may be.
I am not a night owl, i knock out around 11 p.m. I like my morning routines.
My favorite way to wake up in the morning revolves around music. It almost doesn't matter what's playing. I mean I'm not getting pumped for a game in the morning but I'm not cuddling up to a lullaby either. So most often times it's something like R&B or soul that kind of thing in the morning.
Well, almost; that is, IF I knew what P-Diddy felt like in the morning.
I'm a morning person in a moderate form. You see there's levels of morning people:
Extreme: Arrives already have consumed three cups of coffee, energy drink in hand, big smile, louder than normal voice, too talkative and extremely nosey!
Moderate: Jazzed, have theirselves together, cheery, almost singing.
Mild: Awake and there... where ever that may be.
I am not a night owl, i knock out around 11 p.m. I like my morning routines.
My favorite way to wake up in the morning revolves around music. It almost doesn't matter what's playing. I mean I'm not getting pumped for a game in the morning but I'm not cuddling up to a lullaby either. So most often times it's something like R&B or soul that kind of thing in the morning.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Play like a boy
This term was the first time I have ever taken a gender class. In fact, I had taken two gender classes in the same term.
For some of you, you might think that gender classes are a waste of time; however, I assure you, they are not.
The topic I was most annoyed with this term is that female athletes are doing nothing but copying the men, because in a patriarchy all that is male is valued more.
I play college soccer and have played soccer since I was a little girl. I would come in muddy from recess just like the boys. Yes, I wanted to be a boy growing up only to avoid the tea party dresses that I was forced to wear to family functions or church.
When asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and I answered most often Mia Hamm, I didn't first say become a boy and be just like Rooney or Beckham. I wanted to be just like the female soccer player I had seen succeed.
I am not trying to copy a boy or man.
As I train myself for spring ball or during the summer I train for the upcoming season, I don't hope that I will be as good as the boys. Hell, I don't even train with a boy. I train by myself.
Why would I want to be just as good as a boy, when I can excel fenominally as a female athlete? You think female athletes aren't as good as male athletes?
In some aspects, yes! Women, on average, are 20 percent less strong as a man.
But not all sports take strength. There's tactics and grace. I'm not just talking about cheerleading, dancing, skating, gymnastics or any other sports you may think as graceful.
Please don't confuse the word "graceful" with "feminine" because as you will see there are many aspects of even the toughest male sports (rugby, football, hockey, etc.) that require or involve a certain level of grace.
One day a woman won't have to feel the pressure of putting on make up to get sweaty for a game, or put ribbon in her hair for it to bounce around before she spikes the ball.
One day, the phrase, "You play like a girl" will be a compliment rather than a bashing remark.
For some of you, you might think that gender classes are a waste of time; however, I assure you, they are not.
The topic I was most annoyed with this term is that female athletes are doing nothing but copying the men, because in a patriarchy all that is male is valued more.
I play college soccer and have played soccer since I was a little girl. I would come in muddy from recess just like the boys. Yes, I wanted to be a boy growing up only to avoid the tea party dresses that I was forced to wear to family functions or church.
When asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and I answered most often Mia Hamm, I didn't first say become a boy and be just like Rooney or Beckham. I wanted to be just like the female soccer player I had seen succeed.
I am not trying to copy a boy or man.
As I train myself for spring ball or during the summer I train for the upcoming season, I don't hope that I will be as good as the boys. Hell, I don't even train with a boy. I train by myself.
Why would I want to be just as good as a boy, when I can excel fenominally as a female athlete? You think female athletes aren't as good as male athletes?
In some aspects, yes! Women, on average, are 20 percent less strong as a man.
But not all sports take strength. There's tactics and grace. I'm not just talking about cheerleading, dancing, skating, gymnastics or any other sports you may think as graceful.
Please don't confuse the word "graceful" with "feminine" because as you will see there are many aspects of even the toughest male sports (rugby, football, hockey, etc.) that require or involve a certain level of grace.
One day a woman won't have to feel the pressure of putting on make up to get sweaty for a game, or put ribbon in her hair for it to bounce around before she spikes the ball.
One day, the phrase, "You play like a girl" will be a compliment rather than a bashing remark.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Long time no see
I realize that it has been a while since i've posted anything. So much has gone on and I can't wait to tell you! Hence the reason why I haven't posted; i've been busy.
Academically I am no longer a trapped, pesimistic, evil-in-training, journalism student. I have changed my concentration to communications. Now it's about rainbows and butterflies and genuinely being nice to people. Much more my pace though my masculine appearance would disagree.
Soccer is still going strong and we're making our transition from repetative winter training to repetative spring training. More info. to come as no events will change or occur.
Love life is good. Enough said.
My main issue I want to express is my recent learning of gender studies and the inequalities not only supressing women but holding standards even too high or dangerous for men. OK well this is not a life-and-death example but here in po-dunk La Grande, OR, the situation is worth talking about.
I have never taken a gender course until now. I know, 21 and I'm just learning something. One of my goals we reflected on now that we're toward the end of our term, is to have more gender respectful or gender neutral language.
Now my job as a News and Features editor for our campus paper comes in handy with this goal... or so i thought.
Editing nights are never fun because we're there from 6 p.m. to midnight or later. However this is a forced opportunity for me to get homework and things done. While editing our stories, I remembered my gender goal and without further thinking I changed "freshman" to "freshwoman." This made since because I was quoting a first-year female student.
Key Fact: I am the only female editor of seven editors. Grant it only six of us were there that night.
My editor (male, also not a student but EOU alumni) said that I was wrong by changing the title, but didn't have a better reason as to why it should not be changed other than it's not the way things are according to APA editing style.
So our argument went something like this:
Chief editor: "Freshman" is a title of class. You wouldn't change sophomore, junior or senior.
me: no because they don't have gender discriminitory language in them. Let's run it this issue and see if either people notice or if our advisor says anything.
Chief: No i'm not going to do that. It doesn't need to be changed and that's final.
me: we change "police man" to "police officer" and "mail man" to "post carrier" why not change "freshman" to "freshwoman"?
chief: because it sounds funny and no one else uses it. You don't see people in sports broadcasting change to gender neutral terms?
me: that's because there's mostly men who work there
chief: the women who work their have that opportunity too
me: like i'm trying to change things now
Layout editor: but sports places are dominated by men (proving my point)
Arts and entertainment editor: oh like changing "mankind" to "humankind" (again, proving my point)
chief: no i'm not going to change it. You can have your gender professor write a letter to the editor and you can write something but It's not going to get changed.
Not only was he so adiment about not changing something so small but he did not have a good reason for not changing it. I would have settled for a compramise of "let's run 'freshman' this issue, you can do more research and we'll discuss changes for next issue." that sounds pretty fair to me. But the "no we're not going to change it because i said so and that's the way things are" is not good enough for me.
Now the next day I brought this issue up in my gender class and most had agreed that there was discrimmination and that something should be changed whether it be changing to "freshwoman" or "first-year students" for the non-traditional students sake.
More examples of changing language to become more politically correct:
Mentally retarded is out, replaced with mentally handicapped, which is even getting flak for not being PC enough.
Low-income, not poor.
Servers, not waiters and waitresses.
Undocumented workers instead of illegal immigrants.
Points to be made:
Freshman is a term used when at the time education was reserved for men. EOU has a 60:40 ratio of women to men.
When interviewing someone you learn to spell their name correctly, their perspective of the story, and how they influenced the story so when gathering that information you're most likely to catch their class and beable to decide on referring to them as "freshman", "freshwoman", or "first-year" student. Or get rid of "freshwo/man" altogether and simply use "first-year student."
Food for thought, pressure for diamonds and all that. Thanks for reading.
Academically I am no longer a trapped, pesimistic, evil-in-training, journalism student. I have changed my concentration to communications. Now it's about rainbows and butterflies and genuinely being nice to people. Much more my pace though my masculine appearance would disagree.
Soccer is still going strong and we're making our transition from repetative winter training to repetative spring training. More info. to come as no events will change or occur.
Love life is good. Enough said.
My main issue I want to express is my recent learning of gender studies and the inequalities not only supressing women but holding standards even too high or dangerous for men. OK well this is not a life-and-death example but here in po-dunk La Grande, OR, the situation is worth talking about.
I have never taken a gender course until now. I know, 21 and I'm just learning something. One of my goals we reflected on now that we're toward the end of our term, is to have more gender respectful or gender neutral language.
Now my job as a News and Features editor for our campus paper comes in handy with this goal... or so i thought.
Editing nights are never fun because we're there from 6 p.m. to midnight or later. However this is a forced opportunity for me to get homework and things done. While editing our stories, I remembered my gender goal and without further thinking I changed "freshman" to "freshwoman." This made since because I was quoting a first-year female student.
Key Fact: I am the only female editor of seven editors. Grant it only six of us were there that night.
My editor (male, also not a student but EOU alumni) said that I was wrong by changing the title, but didn't have a better reason as to why it should not be changed other than it's not the way things are according to APA editing style.
So our argument went something like this:
Chief editor: "Freshman" is a title of class. You wouldn't change sophomore, junior or senior.
me: no because they don't have gender discriminitory language in them. Let's run it this issue and see if either people notice or if our advisor says anything.
Chief: No i'm not going to do that. It doesn't need to be changed and that's final.
me: we change "police man" to "police officer" and "mail man" to "post carrier" why not change "freshman" to "freshwoman"?
chief: because it sounds funny and no one else uses it. You don't see people in sports broadcasting change to gender neutral terms?
me: that's because there's mostly men who work there
chief: the women who work their have that opportunity too
me: like i'm trying to change things now
Layout editor: but sports places are dominated by men (proving my point)
Arts and entertainment editor: oh like changing "mankind" to "humankind" (again, proving my point)
chief: no i'm not going to change it. You can have your gender professor write a letter to the editor and you can write something but It's not going to get changed.
Not only was he so adiment about not changing something so small but he did not have a good reason for not changing it. I would have settled for a compramise of "let's run 'freshman' this issue, you can do more research and we'll discuss changes for next issue." that sounds pretty fair to me. But the "no we're not going to change it because i said so and that's the way things are" is not good enough for me.
Now the next day I brought this issue up in my gender class and most had agreed that there was discrimmination and that something should be changed whether it be changing to "freshwoman" or "first-year students" for the non-traditional students sake.
More examples of changing language to become more politically correct:
Mentally retarded is out, replaced with mentally handicapped, which is even getting flak for not being PC enough.
Low-income, not poor.
Servers, not waiters and waitresses.
Undocumented workers instead of illegal immigrants.
Points to be made:
Freshman is a term used when at the time education was reserved for men. EOU has a 60:40 ratio of women to men.
When interviewing someone you learn to spell their name correctly, their perspective of the story, and how they influenced the story so when gathering that information you're most likely to catch their class and beable to decide on referring to them as "freshman", "freshwoman", or "first-year" student. Or get rid of "freshwo/man" altogether and simply use "first-year student."
Food for thought, pressure for diamonds and all that. Thanks for reading.
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